3 months old?!

(Sorry this is all over the place... I am all over the place right now!). I haven't posted in a while, mostly because I am busy being a mommy! When I am not with Anna, then I am trying to be a wife, a teacher, and a homemaker too! Boy is this a lot to juggle! I wouldn't trade it for the world though!

Anna is 3 months old! Where is the time going! My big girl is so sweet! We are enjoying every second with her.



We don't have any height or weight info on her because her next dr appt isn't until she is 4 months old. She is such a joy though! She is happy and she LOVES to talk! She ALMOST rolls over now, and has the most beautiful laugh in the world! The other day I was making a bottle for her and thought I heard her crying. I ran into the living room to help her and she was laughing at the dogs. It was so cute!

I went back to work last week. Tuesday, my first day back, was the hardest day in my entire life. It has gotten more bearable since then. I really love teaching and I have a great class this year and do teach for a great district. I see myself teaching when Anna is older... I just wish there was a way for me to stay home with her right now. There isn't, so I am doing the best I can to be there for her every second I am with her. Her daycare is amazing. The teacher in her room is just wonderful with all of the babies and has been so great! I am so glad we switched to them! We get artwork that they make with her. We got a handprint tree on her first day. Today we got a book about her. It is so precious!

Here are a few cute pictures of my little lady:

On following my Motherly Instincts!

This week has kind of been a whirlwind. Anna was supposed to start daycare on Monday, however she had a lot of problems with her reflux on Sunday, so I decided to keep her home with me because I didn't want more problems and her to not be with me. I took her to the daycare for a visit on Monday and wow... my Mama's instinct flared and red flags went up left and right! I just was not happy. I didn't like what I saw in the infant room. I think when we visited when we were pregnant we really didn't know what to look for and what we wanted for our baby, and now that she is here, I know exactly what I want for her and that wasn't it! I saw babies swinging in swings, pretty much being pacified. The caregivers weren't holding a single baby. When I asked when they would be playing with toys, in the excersaucers or on floorgyms, they said when the older babies go to the one year old room for a bit. I just didn't want my Anna to be pacified all day, with only a small amount of time to be played with. There were some other problems I had... like when I called and asked about a curriculum for working with their fine motor or gross motor skills, etc, they said that there was none... that they pretty much just do what the babies want and they have music playing (um, the radio).

So I left there crying my eyes out, not sure what to do. She was supposed to go there Tuesday and I didn't want to her go at all. Jeff was at work. I was supposed to be going back to work in a week and I was NOT a happy camper because I did not feel comfortable about where she was going. I didn't want her to lose a year of her life just being pacified in a swing, when she could be learning. I wanted her to have attention and be cared for, and be surrounded by babies her age.

We had met with another place when we were pregnant, but didn't choose them because they were more expensive and we had to provide diapers. But when I remembered this place, I remembered how much I really liked it... they had artwork done by the babies on the walls and pictures of the babies. They had babies grouped by age in rooms. I called them to see if they had an opening and they had ONE opening left for her agegroup! So Jeff and I talked about it and we switched her to them! I went for a visit with her again yesterday, and they had Raffi playing, not the radio! The caregiver in her room was holding a baby the whole time (different babies, but giving them all attention!). There were babies playing on the floor gyms. And they are willing to cloth diaper for us.

I am NOT looking forward to leaving her all day to work, but I am so happy it will be at a place that she will be cared for, paid attention to, and that she will learn and grow physically and cognitively. I truly believe God was holding that spot for her!

On my last post

My last post was raw and pure emotion. It was how I feel, but I know that staying home is not an option. I am so thankful to have a job that I love and to have the added bonus of summers and holidays with her. There aren't many moms I know that don't feel that way before they go back to work after having a baby, including my own mother who was in this same position exactly 29 years ago with me. I just pray I can make the most of every second I have with my Anna girl. It will get easier over time. I am a person of routine and I look forward to the feeling of the routine once it is in place. And I pray for snow days, but not too many that we get out late or that it takes away from my two week Christmas break! :)

On going back to work... and a letter to my baby girl

It is 11:06pm Saturday night and I am crying my eyes out I can't sleep. I am sitting in Anna's nursery. I want to hold her, but I am too afraid she will wake up, so I will settle for hearing her breath in person and seeing her sweet face, instead of experiencing it through her monitor. It is 11:06pm... I am sitting here in tears because of what is coming. I am already heartbroken and I still have a day. I start back to work a week from Tuesday... October 1st. Anna starts daycare this week on Monday because I can't even fathom dropping her off at a strange place with strange people, smells, sights, and sounds without me a single recognizable person on my first day back to work. So I had the brilliant heartbreaking idea that I would start her a week early and during that time I would get a lot of work done. Monday she is only going for part of a day, same as Tuesday and Wednesday, but Thursday and Friday she will be there all day.

I love teaching. I love working with children and inspiring them, helping them to learn and grow. I love seeing their faces light up when they understand something that has been difficult for them. I love seeing them treat each other nicely. I love the bond I create with a class. I work for a great school district, in a great school, and with a great team of teachers. I love the grade I teach and I worked so hard to get this job. But those thoughts are the furthest things from my mind right now. I just want to be home with my baby girl. I love the changes and the growth I see from her every day, and I am so afraid I will miss something because I am at school.

When we tossed around the idea of daycare vs in home, I would only go with in home if it was someone I knew and trusted. Unfortunately, all of the people I knew and trusted that watched kids were no longer doing it. So daycare it is. My mom was wondering if she might be able to retire soon and watch her. It would be "perfect" because my parents live only a few minutes from Jeff's work and he could drop her off and pick her up every day. She would be with someone that would love her and want her to grow and I do. I put perfect in quotes for a reason. While it would be the almost next best thing, the perfect thing would be me staying home. I don't want my mom to watch her (sorry mom). I want to spend my days with her. (I said almost, because I wish I could just take her to school with me, which would be the next best thing! Great way to promote literacy... start them early and my 2nd graders would love to read to her!). I try to help myself feel better by telling myself that I have holidays and weekends and summers with her. That is more than my husband has. He isn't even guaranteed weekends. That thought helps a little. But it is a long way from a holiday, and it isn't even close to summer! I know am told it will get easier with time. I know that I will probably always wish I could just stay home with her, but that other things will fill my time to make my day go faster and that once I am allowed to leave I will be out of school. Gone are the days that I stayed until 5pm. Now I will make the most of every second I have in school, and when I am home and Anna is awake, I will do my best to have schoolwork put away.

And so I sit here, heartbroken... not able to sleep... listening to her breath and make noises in her sleep... very tempted to face my worry of waking her just to hold her. I want to write her a letter (which will probably only make me cry harder). And so here it goes:

My dear, sweet Anna,

You are so little and so loved. I've learned so much about you from the minute you were born. I love to watch you grow and learn. I love to watch you do new things. No one else knows you the way I know you and no one else has the bond we have. 

I am heartbroken to have to leave you during the day, but it is to help provide for you so that your Daddy and I can give you the experiences and the things you need for a happy, successful life. I wish we could live off of love, because if so, we would be set for life and I could stay home with you! But we can't. I know that you won't know the difference growing up, because I never knew the difference. I hope you can learn a lot from me working. I hope you see me a strong. I hope you see me as someone who can work to provide for you, while being a loving mother to you. I hope you learn how to be kind and gracious to others when you are learning how to be around your peers. Wow... peers. Even someone as little as you has peers your own age!

We are asked whose personality we think you have. Daddy's, very reserved and laid back, or mine, very independent and strong. It seems like no matter whose personality we say, the person seems surprised that we say that. The truth is, I hope you have both of our personalities. I hope you are like your Daddy in that you don't let things worry right away and you think before you speak. I hope you are like me in that you are strong and you aren't afraid to speak up when you need to and you aren't afraid to stand up for yourself. If you have both of our personalities I know you will grow to be a strong woman who can take care of herself and doesn't need others to take care of her, however I hope that you love and allow others to take care of you once in a while. I hope you don't feel you need to be with someone to make you happy, however I hope you do find someone to make you happy, the way your Daddy makes me happy. I hope that one day you get to experience the love of being a mother, just as I am experiencing it now. It is the most amazing feeling in the world and I am so thankful I have you. 

Anna, Mommy and Daddy are always here for you. We will always love you, like no one else can ever love you. We will love you for you. I hate that I have to leave you during the day, but I promise to make the most of every second we have together when I am home. 

I love you, my sweet miracle.

Mommy

2 months old! (a little late)

My Anna Banana is 2 months old (and a week). We left for vacation on her 2 month day, so I didn't have a chance to post. She has grown and changed so much! Just when I think I couldn't adore her more, I do! :)



Here are her stats for birth, 1 month, and 2 months:

Birth Weight: 6 lbs 14 oz               1 Month: 8lbs 10oz            2 Months: 10lbs 12oz
Birth Length: 20 1/2 in                 1 Month: 21 3/4 in             2 Months: 23 in

She now talks and smiles and coos constantly when she is happy! She also is starting to laugh. We got the most adorable laugh from her on vacation!

We did figure out that she has reflux and is starting a medication to help her. Feeding her has become so difficult because of her reflux and she can get pretty fussy because of it, but aside from that she is such a happy and social baby!

She has now been in 8 states, including where she lives. We went on a vacation to New Hampshire and Vermont last week. We had such a nice time staying in a cabin and hiking, touring, etc together. She is such a good traveler and we had to get New England in her blood early! We made sure to come home stocked up on Patriots gear for her!

Here are a few pictures of my angel from vacation:

   



And one from today:

Humility

A year ago I was about to run my third half marathon and then my fourth half marathon in October. Two weeks after my fourth half marathon I found out I was pregnant... about 8 weeks pregnant, and due in July. I was in tip top shape at the time... I had just lost 62 lbs and was on my way to losing the last 15 I wanted to lose, I could easily run a half marathon, and had aspirations for a marathon in April. Boy did pregnancy put a halt to that! But I credit my amazing pregnancy to getting myself healthy.

Now, I say that because of this next part... when I started running again this week I was humbled, very fast. I hadn't struggled with running that much since I started, 62lbs+ heavier, and struggling to run a block. Thankfully this time I can run a bit over a mile. Boy is it humbling... especially after childbirth, where, instead of tight, strong legs, abs, and other parts, there are now droopy, floppy parts, skin, etc because there is no longer a baby keeping my skin tight, and you don't realize how much skin stretches to support that baby until that baby is no longer in there!

But I am doing it again and I will get where I was again sometime! The important thing is that I continue to do it to set an example for Anna Banana, because I want her to grow up with healthy parents who value exercise so that she can learn from us and learn to value exercise as well!

Everyone needs a little slap of humility once in a while to appreciate where they came from and where they are headed.

This little girl is worth every droop:

Moving Anna to her room and mention of a giveaway

We moved Anna into her own room two weeks ago yesterday. That was a ROUGH night for Mommy, but not so rough for Anna! Thank goodness for friends that stay up and chat with me until I am sleepy so that I am not up crying all night worrying that something will happen to my baby girl. I loved having her next to me and probably would have kept her there for a while, had she not grown out of the cradle she slept in. I would wake up to hear her grunting because she got stuck in her cradle like this:



And so I knew it was time to move her. I had to light a fire under my hubby's butt to convince him to hang the baby monitor for me so that I could at least see and hear her in her room. I am not thrilled with her baby monitor, but it at least has video and sound.

The Bragging Mommy is giving away a babymonitor that I would LOVE to have! So I am blogging and posting a link for you to see this monitor as well!

And so here is a picture of Anna in her room for her first night... after Mommy cried and prayed that she would be OK and many Mommy kisses. And we survived. And she actually sleeps better in her room than she did next to me. We've even had mornings where she's slept until 8:15!!! And that does make this mommy very happy!

One step forward...

Yesterday I went for my first run since I was around 15 weeks pregnant. My last run was a 4 mile race in the hills near our house and it was torture because of the way I was carrying. I stopped running in January and switched to walking for a while. I did walk a 5K in May at around 36 weeks pregnant, but other than that, no racing. I miss it a lot. I went out yesterday for a run and it felt great. It was only a little over a mile, but it still felt nice. I may have had 2 miles in me, but I don't want to push it too early. I will get there, maybe next week or the week after.

I miss the distance I used to run. I ran a half marathon when I was 6 weeks pregnant and a 10 miler at 8 weeks pregnant (although by that time the fatigue was starting to set in and I was still having a lot of the early pregnancy cramping, so it wasn't the best 10 miler). But I would trade the distance for my little girl ANY DAY! I am hoping to get back up to a half marathon next year, and a marathon at some point in my life, but I really don't know how to juggle being a mommy, teaching, and running a long distance. I'd like to push Anna in a running stroller when I run, and that will take some work for both of us to build up her time stamina in a stroller, but at the same time I will be building up my distance. We will see how it goes! Any advice is welcome!

And because no post is complete without a picture of my leading lady, here is my new favorite picture (of my 8 week old!!!)...

It is September...

This is a month I usually look forward to. It is the month I married my husband. It is the start of fall. It is the start of football. School is back and in full swing. This year, however, it is bitter sweet. There are things I am really looking forward to... like our first vacation as a family of 3! Jeff has worked a lot since going back to work after Anna was born, and it will be so nice to have him to ourselves for a whole week!

This month, though, is also the last month I am home with Anna. I start back at school 1 month from today. So the end of this month we are starting to transition to daycare and I dread that week more than anything! But at least I have one month... and my munchkin just woke up, so I am going to go play!

On holding my baby

Let me tell you a little story... 6 years ago this month, a man and a woman were married. They were so happy together, and still are. They decided right away to bring a child into this world. After a year of trying, she had a positive pregnancy test, but it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. They continued for 4 more years to try for a baby. These years had their ups and downs. They were still so happy together, but they were going through tests and treatments to try to make their dream of a child come true. There were many tears. Many Mother's Days and Father's Days passed with empty arms. They saw their friends have one, two, and even three babies during this time. Eventually they let their trying take a back burner and let running, traveling, and their jobs take over their lives. They were still happy together, but they decided to put off their trying for a few years, but there was still that empty sadness in their hearts. One day, during the first weekend of November 2012, she wasn't feeling right and decided to take a pregnancy test. SURPRISE! It was positive! After doctors told her she wouldn't be able to have a baby without the help of modern medicine, a miracle happened! After all these years their dreams were coming true. After 10 months of a beautiful pregnancy, their daughter was born and they couldn't be happier.

You see, that is my story above. After almost 6 years, I can finally hold my little miracle. And so I hold her any chance I get. I never, ever get tired of holding her because time moves so fast and she is already growing and changing before my very eyes. I love when people get to meet her and snuggle her and hold her, but when I am told (not by anyone specific, I promise! This is just an observation of my feelings over the last 8 weeks!) that I get to see her and hold her every day so they want to hold her for a long time, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I have to remind myself that they don't see her often and that they just love her and want to adore her. But I also know that a month from today, I will have even less time every day holding her, and that breaks my heart. And so, yes, even if someone is around that hasn't met her, I want to hold her. And if she is fussy while she is being held by someone else, it only makes me want to take her and help her stop fussing and make her happy. So yes, I am going to snuggle my baby and hold her, and smile at her, and talk to her, because I waited 6 years for this and nothing makes me happier than to hold her or see her daddy hold her. So be patient with me. It is hard for me to share my miracle, but I promise I am doing my best to remind myself that others want to get to know her and love on her to!

   

1 month old!

Birth Weight: 6 lbs 14 oz               Now: 8lbs 10oz
Birth Length: 20 1/2 in                   Now: 21 3/4 in

Anna is already 1 month old! Well, now 1 months and 5 days old. :) I can not believe how fast this month went and how much she has grown already. Here are a few more interesting things than what I wrote on her sign:
*She is still a peanut and wearing mostly newborn clothes, but is starting to grow out of the smaller newborn and can fit into a few 0-3 month things, barely.
*She is in size 1 diapers. We are going to be cloth diapering soon. She wasn't big enough to fit into the cloth diapers we had until now, but we have a ton of size 1's that we got at our showers and I still had to order a few more cloth diapers. She just moved into size 1's and we will be starting soon!
*She is also starting to be pleasant while she is awake. She loves to lay on her back and kick around and talk.
*She is starting to smile at me. :)
*She is also sleeping 4-6 hours at a time at night. YAY! :)
*She loves to ride in the car and in her stroller and she LOVES to look out the window.
*She eats 4oz in her bottle at a time.
*She will be moving to her crib soon. :(

We are loving being parents to this little girl. I think I still haven't gotten over that we have a girl, and it is so fun to go shopping for her. :)

Here are a few pics of our Anna Banana:

Daddy's shades are the way to go!


Smile!




Super Girl! I call this her super hero pose. :)

3 weeks old tomorrow!

I can't believe Anna Banana is 3 weeks old tomorrow! This time truly is flying and it makes me so sad! She already doesn't look like a newborn, at least in my eyes. If we go to the store, I still hear people whisper to each other how tiny she is. Thankfully I only had one time where I was afraid someone was going to touch her, and I kept moving her stroller away and was able to fend off the germy hand! :) She is so fun to have and I just love watching her with her Daddy! Oh and she has already rolled from her front to her back!!! I couldn't believe it. She doesn't do it all the time, but I have definitely seen it and it blows my mind that she is doing it already! She is also starting to be more alert and it is neat to see her look around and take in the world... well the world that she can see at least since not all of her eyesight is in yet!

Breastfeeding has not been what I imagined. I was looking forward to doing it and to having that time with my Anna all to myself, not to mention how much cheaper it was supposed to be! Well, we had problems from the start in the hospital. Anna had trouble latching to me, so I had to use a nipple shield for her to latch. Because of the nipple shield, I wasn't being stimulated enough for my milk to come in, so I had to pump after every feeding too. And then, because my milk wasn't coming in, we had to supplement with formula. Each feeding took over an hour and I would finish one just in time to start another. It was so emotionally and physically draining. The formula the hospital had her on made her gassy, so we had some LOOONG nights after we came home. Nights where we saw Daddy go to bed and Daddy get up for work and we didn't get a wink of sleep in between. She also wasn't getting enough milk from me and the formula wasn't enough, so she was hungry all the time. Because she was also using a bottle (which the lactation consultant told us to use because she was already on a nipple shield), she ended up getting a lazy latch. After one emotionally difficult day, where Anna refused to latch and screamed because she was hungry, I was done. I decided to exclusively pump and only feed her from a bottle. Since then, she has started to eat on an eating schedule, where she eats every 3 hours, and isn't hungry in between. She is actually sleeping 3 or 4 hour stretches at night regularly. The only time she is hungry between feedings is when we notice we have to increase her to the next half oz, and then we don't have problems. We do still supplement with 1 oz of formula, but she mostly gets breastmilk. I feel so much better this way because I don't feel like all I am doing is feeding a baby. One thing I am not yet ready to give up is feeding her. I don't mind if Jeff feeds her because I love to see them bonding. I am not ready for someone else to feed her. I was so looking forward to having this time with her, and I am not ready to give that time to someone else. Between now and when I go back to work, I will work on that, but until then I am not going to budge on that. Jeff is completely supportive.

So that is it in a nutshell. I really love being a mommy and I am having a hard time even thinking about when I have to go back to work. I had to pick up paperwork for the daycare, and other than picking it up, I haven't been able to touch it. I just can't think of my baby crying and needing me and someone else being there to help her. I have to go back to work and am going back October 1st, and I really do love my job and I am looking forward to a new school year... I just wish I could take my munchkin with me!

And because no post would be complete without a picture of my beautiful girl... here you go:

Me cuddling with my angel. Do you notice the                  

blanket? Prince George has the same one as Anna!         Anna in her cuddly owl PJs!

  

And here is a sneak peek at Anna's newborn pictures! My Aunt Becky took them for us and I can not WAIT to see more! 

   

Anna's Birth Story and a Short Update

So I have always wanted to do a birth story post! I love reading them when others post about them, and I want to write it down before I forget what happened. Bringing a new life into this world is beautiful, and was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. It is long, so kudos if you get through it! If you make it, there may be some pictures at the end to reward you! (Of course, if you are like me, you quick scroll down to look at them before coming back to read).

I am going to start with Friday, July 5th, the day after my due date. I had an ultrasound, a Non-Stress Test, and my 40 week appointment scheduled for that day. Jeff was off that day so he went with me, which I am thankful for! The ultrasound was just to measure fluid levels, and all was good. Once again she was waving at us during the ultrasound! :) We went to the Non-Stress Test, and during the test I was having contractions, though they were very small so I wasn't feeling all of them. She also wasn't moving around a ton because it was a sleepier time of day for her. They were having a hard time getting her to move to measure her heartrate. When I had contractions, they noticed her heartrate dropped. The doctor didn't want to do my appointment, he wanted me to head to Labor and Delivery and be hooked up to one of their machines for monitoring. I was nervous that something was wrong, and wondering if they were going to induce me. We only live 5 minutes from my doctor's and 5 minutes from the hospital, so we decided to swing home, let the dogs out, sweep and vacuum, and grab my bags for the hospital in case they decide to admit me. We also stopped at Subway on the way to the hospital so that I had something to eat in case I was being induced. We were hooked up to the machines and monitored for a few hours. I think because I stopped to eat, it gave her energy and she was very active. They didn't notice any problems with her heartrate. They were also PACKED that day, so they couldn't induce me. They set up an induction for Tuesday, July 9th and sent me on my way.

Saturday we spent time with family, but I really wasn't having any contractions. Sunday, July 7th, I woke up and was feeling contractions every 15 minutes or so and they were stronger than any of the contractions I had before had been. They weren't painful, but they felt like they were pushing baby down, which I hadn't felt before. I downloaded a contraction timer app for when I needed to start timing and went about my day. Jeff was at work and I was wondering if I would have to call him to come home, but they weren't close enough for me to feel that I had to. He got home and I told him about my contractions. We had dinner plans with my parents that night for my birthday and since they were 10-15 minutes apart at that time, we decided to keep our plans, even though it was 30 minutes away from our house and the hospital. I did have to breathe a bit through a few contractions during dinner, and I noticed they were getting closer together. I told my parents that I wouldn't be surprised if tonight we went in, but we weren't sure since we have had days where I've had contractions and then they would go away. Driving home I noticed they were getting closer together so I started timing them. They were 5-9 minutes apart. My doctor's office told me and all first time moms to call when they are 5 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for 1 hour, so I knew it wasn't yet time to call. We watched some TV and I continued to time. After an hour I noticed they were 3-5 minutes apart, so I called and we went in. They still weren't strong, but I felt a lot of pressure. They put me in the Early Labor Room (not fully admitted) and hooked me up to monitors. They also checked me and I was still barely a centimeter dilated. They started to get more painful at this time, feeling like cramps. After an hour on the machine I still wasn't progressed, so they had me walk around. After an hour of walking around I progressed from barely a centimeter to a full centimeter, however, they weren't convinced I was in labor. (I was convinced, but what do I know?! Haha!). They told me I could be in false labor, gave me Percocet and Ambien and sent me home to sleep and make the contractions go away. They told me to come back in if they were more painful... I didn't understand how they could get any more painful. Famous last words...

We went home and I went inside and up to the bedroom. I had no sooner made it to the bedroom than I felt HORRENDOUS pain. I kept thinking (remember I am on Percocet and Ambien, so not quite all there) that I was a Barbie having my legs ripped off. I would pass out between the contractions, and then they would wake me up and I would cry and try to make them stop, but they wouldn't. Eventually I started throwing up from the pain and told I was done and we were going back in. It was barely an hour since we were sent home. I should have just stayed...

We went in and they checked me in the Early Labor room again... I had dilated 3cm in the hour I was gone and was officially being admitted in labor! My original plan was to labor until I got to 5cm and then get an epidural. Haha. You can plan all you want... it doesn't mean it will happen! I was progressing so quickly that my pain was unbearable and I wanted an epidural immediately. They hooked me to an IV to give me fluids and gave me Stadol while they waited for the anesthesiologist to come. Stadol rocked because I was out of it between contractions and, while they still hurt, it took the edge off my contractions and it also made me out of it when the epidural was being placed. The anesthesiologist was my favorite person in the entire hospital. I really was so comfortable before he even left the room! I am pretty sure I told him he was an Angel. Haha!  Somewhere around 5:00 or 6:00 Monday morning my mom showed up to hang with Jeff and me. I dozed on and off between them checking me. I quickly progressed to 6 cm and then started to slow down. They decided to give me Pitocin and place an internal contraction monitor to make sure the contractions were strong enough for me to deliver the baby. They also had to give me Oxygen, which I was on throughout my entire labor and pushing because baby wasn't really very active. The Oxygen was torture because it made me very thirsty and I could only have ice chips. They broke my water and noticed Meconium in the fluid, so they had to have NICU in the room when I delivered... which made the number of medical staff in the room when I was delivering jump from a midwife and two nurses to: a midwife, two L&D nurses, 3 NICU nurses, a doctor from my practice, and resident doctor as well. Around noon I started to feel pressure from the baby dropping. They checked me around 1:30 and I was all but fully dilated. They wanted to let me get that last little bit dilated and they wanted the baby to move down on her own, so they decided to wait an hour. They topped off my epidural so I could handle the pressure a little more. At 2:30 they checked me and it was PUSHING time! I kicked my mom out of the room. I wanted it to just be Jeff, and me, and the 8 doctors and nurses that were in the room (but really Jeff and me. I told her she wasn't there when baby was conceived, so she couldn't be there when baby came into the world. She was A-OK with that! I really wanted a special small family moment before everyone else was there). I pushed for 2 1/2 hours... I believe she was turned sideways because my hip was KILLING me! They wouldn't tell me. At 4:50pm my baby girl entered the world. I wanted Jeff to tell me if the baby was a boy or a girl. It was a beautiful moment and I will never forget it. She had a head full of brown hair. They didn't want her to cry because of the meconium, so they took her after they put her on my chest and cleaned her off and cleared her out and did their other assessments before bringing her back to me. She was having some trouble breathing, so they had a respiratory therapist come check her out, but she ended up fine and we were OK to keep her with us!

Once I was stitched up and holding my baby girl, Jeff went and brought my parents in. When they came in I choked out that she was a girl, but I couldn't tell them her name. Anna is named after my great-grandmother, my mom's grandmother, who was so special to me. Jeff had to tell them the name. They stayed and visited, saw Jeff hold her for the first time, and then my mom held her a bit before we headed to the Maternity section and they headed home for the night.

Anna is just over 2 weeks old now and it is so hard to believe! I am feeling pretty good, though I do get sore after walking around for a few hours. I did manage to get out on my own for a bit today, while my mom kept an eye on my munchkin. It was very hard to leave and I was gone not even an hour, but I still was out! I've already lost 15 of my 19 lbs that the dr's office said I gained! Wahoo!!! I still have 13 total to lose until I am at the weight that I know I was just before I found out I was pregnant, but according to the doctor's office I only have 4 lbs to lose. I feel like a deflated balloon still and am very excited to get back into shape, but I know I am not completely ready for a hard workout. I do try to walk at least every other day, when the heat won't melt me. I will be signing up for a fall 5K, and Jeff and I are going to do Insanity together.

OK... here are a few pictures and then I am headed to snuggle. I will post more about our first two weeks, including my struggle with breastfeeding, in my next post! KUDOS if you made it to the end!

   

  

 
   

And the baby is a...

GIRL! Anna Amelia was born on July 8th at 4:50pm. She weighed 6lbs 14oz and was 20.5 inches long. She has a head full of brown hair and had me at hello! :) We think she has my personality because she isn't afraid to say when she needs something as soon as she needs it. Haha! When I have time I will post more of the birth story and more pictures.I am feeling well now and am thrilled to snuggle with my girl. For now... here is my angel on the day we brought her home:

40 weeks and MORE than ready!

What an eventful week it has been! We forgot to take my 40 week picture on Thursday. I spent Thursday uncomfortable with some contractions, but by the evening the contractions were gone. Friday, however, was a little overwhelming. I am so glad Jeff had off and was able to go to my appointment with me. I had another ultrasound to make sure that baby had enough fluid. Everything looked great. I had a Non-Stress Test (NST- they hook me up to a monitor to measure baby's heartrate and to measure contractions- the goal is to see the baby's heartrate during movement and make sure it is doing what it should be doing). During the test the baby was very quiet and not really moving, but it was also a time of day that baby doesn't move a lot. I was having contractions (mild, but I did feel them) and the technician monitoring the test noticed that the baby's heartrate was going down during my contractions. She spoke with the Dr and he wanted to send me right over to Labor and Delivery to get monitored there, with a chance that they could induce me. We ran home and did a quick sweep and vacuum, take a possible final picture of me pregnant (up above), grabbed my bags, swung by Subway so that I could eat something in case I was induced, and then went in. We were hooked up to monitors and the baby was moving like crazy during this time, and during my contractions the baby looked great. They would have still probably induced me then, being that I was now overdue, but there were a lot of Mamas there to meet their babies, so there were not L&D rooms available to induce me. Before I left, they set me up with an induction date for Tuesday! :) Unless this angel decides to grace us with his or her presence before then, I will be induced on Tuesday! I do have another NST on Monday. Jeff will be back to work then, so my mom is coming over to take me to it.

So here is my last time filling out this questionnaire!

How far along: 40 weeks (and 1 day in the picture--- 40 weeks and 3 days today) 

Total weight gain: Maybe around 20 lbs... I lost two lbs this week though!

Maternity clothes: Always... and the looser (or in this heat, the LESSER!) the better when I am at home. 

Sleep: Other than peeing and tossing and turning, great

Best moment of this week: Setting that induction date!

Miss anything: Wine and running for sure! And my body...

Movement: Definitely

Food cravings: Fruit, coke slushies

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not anymore! YAY! Jeff has successfully made a few steaks at home that I have enjoyed!

Gender: Didn't find out! It will be a surprise!

Labor signs: Contractions... about 3 every hour. Thurs, Fri, and yesterday they weren't strong. Today they are stronger.

Belly button in or out: At this point I think it will stay in. It pops out a bit when I sit, but when I am standing it is in and not coming out. 

Wedding rings on or off: On :)

Happy or moody most of the time: Moodier with the heat and with being overdue and very ready to be done! 

Nursery- a few of my favorite accessories

I wanted to post a few of my favorite accessories from the nursery, since they weren't as visible from the nursery pictures. :)

This is an owl bank that I painted at a local pottery painting place. I love it! It works so well with the room. :)


This is a beautiful crocheted ball that Jeff's great-aunt made for the baby. I absolutely adore it! She used brown and green for the colors in the nursery too. So precious to me!


The owl lamp we got at Target. We changed the lampshade to match the room because it came in black, but it fit so perfectly with the room! The penguin Jeff made when he was in high school and when I went away to college he gave it to me to watch over me (I LOVE penguins!). :) When we started the nursery, we were cleaning out the guest bedroom, where the penguin was living, and he told me that the penguin stays in the nursery to watch over the baby now. So cute. Hehe! And the adorable picture frame was a gift from our baby shower which I put my halfway ultrasound in the picture.


This is one of the maternity pictures we had taken when we had our pictures done with Krotzer Photography (Ky and Matt are friends of ours so it was an honor to have them do our pictures!). I created the backing for the picture and framed it. I just love how it looks in the room.


And of course the book shelves. I know I posted about them in the nursery post, but I am just so proud of my not-very-handy hubby (although he proved me wrong here!). He did a beautiful job on them and I just love how they look in the nursery on the wall!


So those are a few of my favorite things that we decorated the nursery with. I have a frame that is below the maternity picture frame that I love too that my mom gave us for my shower, but I don't want to post it because it isn't my kid that is in it. :) It will be much better when it is my kid's picture and prints in it!

39 weeks... still pregnant!

I went to the doctor's on Thursday and there was no progress from last week. BUMMER! At least I know there will be no more than 2 weeks until baby is born (from the time I was 39 weeks... so at this point no more than 1 1/2 weeks!). I did get to see the baby in an ultrasound and my mom got to go and see baby too. :) It was neat to have her see her first ultrasound experience, and of course I loved seeing my munchkin! I was able to get another video of the ultrasound too (I have one from my 22 week ultrasound too), which will be so neat to show this baby someday when he or she is older. One really good thing from the ultrasound, too, is that baby is only about 6 1/2 pounds and shouldn't be more than 7 1/2 lbs when born. YAY! I was a small baby and Jeff was a BIG baby, so I was nervous about having a big baby. If I make it to my next appointment, I will be having another ultrasound to check the fluid, a non-stress test, and another internal. I will also probably set my induction date since my dr's office doesn't let anyone go past 41 weeks. I really want this baby to have his or her own birthday, and my birthday is exactly 41 weeks, so I am going to hopefully be able to set an induction date for a few days before 41 weeks.

I thought FOR SURE I was going into labor yesterday. I had some serious back pain and crazy pressure, but by the end of the day I was sitting and feeling OK and today I feel much better than yesterday. I even was able to get on my hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor (one of the things that was suggested to me by friends to help me go into labor. We will see if that works! Believe me... I've tried so much at this point!).

I am CONVINCED that this baby takes after his or her father because Jeffery is so laid back and content and not worried about when he arrives, and I am the one who has to be everywhere early. I was even on time when my mom had me (well one day late, but she went into labor the night of July 10th while in bed, which was my due date, and I was born July 11th). Baby will get here on his or her own time! I am just DYING to know if baby is a BOY or a GIRL and who baby looks like, what color hair baby has, etc.

OK- questions-

How far along: 39 (and 1/2, but not in the picture) weeks 

Total weight gain: Maybe around 20 lbs

Maternity clothes: Always... and the looser (or in this heat, the LESSER!) the better when I am at home. 

Sleep: Meh... I toss and turn all night. I really miss sleeping on my stomach! 

Best moment of this week: Seeing baby in the ultrasound

Miss anything: Wine and running for sure! And my body...

Movement: Definitely

Food cravings: Fruit, coke slushies

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not anymore! YAY! 

Gender: Didn't find out! It will be a surprise!

Labor signs: crampiness, back aching, contractions here and there, lots of pressure, and at the doctor's I was 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, and -1 station! (same)

Belly button in or out: At this point I think it will stay in. It pops out a bit when I sit, but when I am standing it is in and not coming out. 

Wedding rings on or off: On :)

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy, but definitely notice that I am getting moodier towards people and my personal space.

The Nursery!

I realized that I hadn't yet posted pictures of the nursery. It is pretty much done, with the exception of a picture frame that needs my baby's prints and picture, and obviously it doesn't yet have the baby. Otherwise, it is done and I think we did a pretty good job. Jeff keeps asking me which room in the house we are doing next... I keep trying to convince him that we should do the living room next because I want new couches! Haha! But no, we will wait for a bit on that room until we save up some more money.

In this room we: repainted the walls, ripped up the carpet, sanded the wood floors, and refinished the wood floors and then pretty much everything else you see!

Looking into the nursery from the hallway. The rocking chair was my mom's and then mine when we were kids, and the rocking horse was mine. It is a tradition in my family that my grandparents gave all of the grandchildren rocking horses when they turned 1.:



The wall right inside the door. Jeff built the shelves the books are on. The toychest was mine when I was a kid. My dad built it. He repainted it for the nursery.



Here is a closer picture of the shelves.



The wall on the other side of the windows. We bought the dresser at a local Amish store and painted it. The one picture on the wall is one of our maternity pictures that I then made a background for and framed. The frame under it is waiting for our baby. :)




The crib wall. We bought a wall decal and put it on the wall. We *LOVE* it! We did a naturey, owl theme in the room, so the tree fit perfectly. We didn't want it to be owl overload, so we really only have a few in the room, but we brought in some nature as well and the tree, especially with the leaves the perfect colors of green and blue, complete the room!

38 weeks... will it be soon?

We have been wearing out the sidewalks around our neighborhood walking, trying to get this baby out! :) I feel pretty good most of the time, with lots of pressure or contractions here and there other times. Sunday was interesting and I was sure I was going into labor, but then after about 2 hours of contractions, it all stopped. Bummer! Jeff is predicting I will go into labor this weekend. It could happen! I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and the doctor checked me. I am 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, and -1 station. Of course, my mom so nicely reminded me that she was 2cm dilated with my brother for 3 weeks. Sigh... BUT the doctor felt pretty optimistic and sent my info over to labor hall already. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Thursday. My doctor told me they won't let me go past 41 weeks, which I am thankful for. So either way, 2 1/2-ish weeks from now I will be holding my munchkin! My birthday is July 11th, which is exactly 41 weeks, so I am hoping I go earlier than that because I really want baby to have his or her own birthday. There is a full moon on Sunday... maybe baby then? :) We'll see! I'll do my best to be patient!

How far along: 38 weeks 

Total weight gain: Maybe around 20 lbs

Maternity clothes: Always... and the looser the better when I am at home. 

Sleep: Not the best. My insomnia comment from last week came to bite me in the butt... I can't seem to get a deep sleep. When I wake up to pee, or turn over, I am wide awake and then it takes a while to fall back asleep. There also isn't a time of night I don't have to pee. 

Best moment of this week: Hearing my dr say she thinks I may be close and that she was sending my stuff to labor hall!

Miss anything: Wine and running for sure! And my body...

Movement: Definitely

Food cravings: Fruit, coke slushies

Anything making you queasy or sick: I am noticing my aversions starting to disappear. I actually ate 3 oz of steak yesterday!

Gender: Didn't find out! It will be a surprise!

Labor signs: crampiness, back aching, contractions here and there, lots of pressure, and at the doctor's I was 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, and -1 station!

Belly button in or out: At this point I think it will stay in. It pops out a bit when I sit, but when I am standing it is in and not coming out. 

Wedding rings on or off: On... ALTHOUGH I did have an evening that I had to take them off because my hands were a tad bit swollen, but since then have gone back down. I am so thankful I am not swollen! I have friends who have had a terrible time with this!

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy, but definitely notice that I am getting moodier towards people and my personal space. I hate when I am in line and someone has to be pretty close to me. 

37 weeks (and pretty late posting!)

I am late posting this. And at this point I am almost 38 weeks, (but the picture shows 37 weeks). We had a pretty busy weekend so I totally forgot until now. And right now I am absolutely exhausted, so I don't know how long this one will be!

I had a doctor's appointment on Friday. It was pretty good. I lost a lb, which I wasn't complaining about. I told them about my anxiety of being overdue and losing the baby. They told me I could elect to have an induction at 40 weeks if I wanted, but that they don't like to let pregnancies go past 41 weeks, which I was happy to hear. Hopefully baby will show up before 40 weeks though! I am pretty uncomfortable, so I wouldn't mind if something happened today... or tomorrow. I'll try to be patient! I have another appointment Thursday, so we will see! I am hoping they check me one of these days to see if I am dilated at all. I have been pretty uncomfortable, crampy, back achy, mild contractions. I was sure something was going to happen yesterday based on how I felt, and then nothing happened. I am excited to meet this munchkin and to find out BOY or GIRL??? :)

How far along: 37 weeks (and then some)

Total weight gain: Maybe around 20 lbs

Maternity clothes: Always... and the looser the better when I am at home. 

Sleep: Meh... I've had better. But (knock on wood) no insomnia. I just have to pee a lot.

Best moment of this week: Finishing school so I don't have to worry about going into labor during school! :)

Miss anything: Wine and running for sure! And my body...

Movement: Definitely

Food cravings: Fruit, coke slushies

Anything making you queasy or sick: Still red meat, but not as much

Gender: Didn't find out! It will be a surprise!

Labor signs: crampiness, back aching, contractions here and there

Belly button in or out: At this point I think it will stay in. It pops out a bit when I sit, but when I am standing it is in and not coming out. 

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy, but definitely notice that I am getting moodier towards people.

36 weeks and ready

36 weeks (well at this point I am closer to 37, but not in the picture!). And I am just noticing how tired my face looks in this picture. It was our 2nd to last day of school and my kids were wired because we had our End of the Year Party, and then after school my coworkers threw me and another teacher who is also pregnant and due a week or two after me a surprise shower. I had a doctor's appointment this week and an internal exam. My cervix is soft, but still closed, and the baby's head is down. I asked the doctor if she thought I would make it to my due date and she wouldn't commit. She said that labor can happen any time. I asked her how big she thought baby would be because Jeff's family grows big babies. She said if I make it to my due date, she estimated baby to be around 8 lbs. Phew! That is a lot smaller than Jeff and his brothers were! Either way, now that school is out, I'm ready to get this show on the road! I have a friend whose due date was a week ahead of me and we were texting back and forth about how it would be cool if we delivered on the same day or on Father's Day. An hour later she texted me that her water broke and it was baby time! Sure enough, baby came yesterday! She is the only person I knew that was due ahead of me, so I am next for the people I know.

This whole pregnancy I have been thinking that I am having a boy, until lately where I've had little niggling thoughts that this baby is a girl. It could just be that in my mind I feel like I have no chance of having a girl because Jeff's family is all boys so part of me wants a girl so that I get my girl. But regardless, I am happy with either. I still think boy with that small thought that thinks girl.

My job today is to pack my hospital bag and straighten the house so I can clean the house tomorrow. I had a tetanus shot Friday and my arm feels like it is falling off, so I don't have a desire to be cleaning like crazy today.

Ok- Onto the questions!

How far along: 36 weeks (and then some)

Total weight gain: Maybe around 20 lbs... they didn't tell me

Maternity clothes: Always... and the looser the better when I am at home. 

Sleep: Crappy right now because my arm hurts from my tetanus shot so I can only sleep on one side and that side gets tired so I try to sleep on my back but that isn't comfortable AT ALL and then I give the right side where the shot was a try and that hurts so then I am tossing and turning and up 3 times a night. 

Best moment of this week: Hearing that my cervix is soft and the head is down so we are closer to meeting baby!

Miss anything: Wine and running for sure! And my body...

Movement: Definitely

Food cravings: Fruit, coke slushies

Anything making you queasy or sick: Still red meat, but as much

Gender: Didn't find out! It will be a surprise!

Labor signs: Braxton Hicks contractions, and some regular contractions here and there, but nothing consistent yet

Belly button in or out: In, but when I lay down and baby moves around it pops out. I think it will always stay in. When I am standing, it is in and up, so I am not feeling like it will pop out.

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy, but definitely notice that I am getting moodier towards people.

35 weeks! Large and in charge!

Getting closer and closer (and bigger and bigger!)! I can't believe I am all but 9 months pregnant already. I have 4 days left of school, and once inservice day next week that I'd really like to go to, and after that I am ready to go! (Though my due date is still 4ish weeks off) I have a lot to do in school to finish the year, but I do have to say it is so nice packing up MY classroom for it to be cleaned this summer (last year I packed up my old room and left it, not knowing IF I would have another place to go... and a few short months later I had a permanent position in the district!), knowing that I will be back to unpack it! I am taking the first month off of school, so it is important to me that I set it up the way I want it instead of have my sub set it up their way for a month and then have me come in and change it for me for the rest of the year. The consistency for the kids is so important to me. So once I get done with this week especially, I will be in baby mode! I can't wait!

We had a baby appointment on Thursday, which went well. Jeff came with me. :) I told him he doesn't have to come to my next one because it is internal (although in a few weeks that little exam will be NOTHING compared to what I'll be doing!).

How far along: 35 weeks (and then some)

Total weight gain: Maybe around 20 lbs... they didn't tell me

Maternity clothes: Always... and the looser the better when I am at home. 

Sleep: (Same as last week) Still good, but I find myself laying only on one side and then waking up uncomfortable and having to turn, which of course wakes my bladder up so I have to get up and pee and then I lay back on the other side. Otherwise, sleep is my friend.

Best moment of this week: Hearing the beautiful heartbeat at my appointment

Miss anything: Wine and running for sure! And my body...

Movement: Definitely

Food cravings: Fruit, coke slushies

Anything making you queasy or sick: Still red meat

Gender: Didn't find out! It will be a surprise!

Labor signs: Braxton Hicks contractions, and I had one or two regular contractions a few days ago, but nothing more. 

Belly button in or out: In for not much longer, it is starting to pop out when I am laying down or when baby is positioned near it.

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy, but definitely notice that I am getting moodier towards people.

Looking forward to: How far along: 34 weeks (and then some)

Total weight gain: More than 17 lbs, but I don't know how much more. I have an appt on Thursday, so I may find out then... but I hate finding that number out!

Maternity clothes: Always... and the looser the better when I am at home. 

Sleep: Still good, but I find myself laying only on one side and then waking up uncomfortable and having to turn, which of course wakes my bladder up so I have to get up and pee and then I lay back on the other side. Otherwise, sleep is my friend.

Best moment of this week: The random act of kindness gift, finishing our nursery, and finishing our baby classes!

Miss anything: Wine and running for sure!

Movement: Definitely

Food cravings: Fruit, coke slushies

Anything making you queasy or sick: Still red meat

Gender: Didn't find out! It will be a surprise!

Labor signs: Braxton Hicks contractions, but otherwise nothing else! I need 2 more weeks to finish the school year and then it can happen whenever.

Belly button in or out: In for not much longer, it is starting to pop out when I am laying down or when baby is positioned near it.

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy, but definitely notice that I am getting moodier towards people.

Looking forward to: Getting the glider set up, seeing how everything is progressing at my appointment Friday, finishing the school year on Thursday