Sunday, August 31, 2008

Awesome weekend!

This weekend was fantastic! My grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and our family planned a surprise party for them... well more like a surprise weekend for them. We threw it for them at the camp they met at. It was so awesome! First there was the luncheon, which was just family. They were so shocked! My mom and dad made a slideshow for them, and my aunt made a double wedding ring cake which looked just like their rehearsal dinner cake. There were many people there that surprised them because they didn't think they would be there because of health reasons.

Then we surprised them by telling them that starting at 2:00 we would be having a drop in party for them and people from all of the churches my grandfather was a minister in, as well as friends, were going to be coming. It was just fantastic. There were a lot of people that came and it was a lot of fun.

After all of the festivities, we (my aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, cousins, and us of course) all stayed at the lodge in the rooms. It was so nice just to spend the night hanging out, talking, eating pizza, blowing up balloons and putting them in my grandparents bathroom, sitting around a campfire, and many other fun things. This morning we had breakfast and then went to see the old part of the camp (that is still used!) to see where my grandparents each stayed when they were there, and all of the places they talked about (like Vesper Hill, and the dining hall). It was very moving and fantastic! It was so emotional to see my grandfather (who has trouble walking) walk up a hill to go to Vesper Hill, where they used to walk up and have their meditations and worship services at camp (it was a church camp). He also said the dining hall hasn't changed a it in 53 years! We also went to check out the cabins that they stayed in. My grandfather apparently carved his name in the cabin and we wanted to find it. We did! It was really cool!

My grandparents were so appreciative and were so surprised about the whole weekend. It was so nice to spend such an extended period of time with the whole family. I am sad it is over so fast!

Incidentally, on their anniversary, which was on Saturday, it was also two years ago that day that Jeff and I were engaged. And now soon we will be celebrating our first anniversary! It is wonderful to be surrounded by so many strong marriages. Both sets of grandparents have been married 50+ years, my parents have been married 26 years, and many of my aunts and uncles have been married 15+ years, or have been in extremely long term relationships that have just been married recently. It is awesome!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Impotence of Proofreading

The the impotence of proofreading
By Taylor Mali

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word's liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that's all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague, because I wouldn't be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvementor gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can't can't catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won't put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You're the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargoone careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I'm not joking, I'm totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

What a Teacher Really Makes

What Teachers Make, or
Objection Overruled, or
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school

By Taylor Mali

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?

Sunday, August 3, 2008

I'm famous!

This will be a short post beacuse I have a lot to do today but... I'm famous! Well, only in York county.

Enjoy... I'll post more about life later.