Breastfeeding has not been what I imagined. I was looking forward to doing it and to having that time with my Anna all to myself, not to mention how much cheaper it was supposed to be! Well, we had problems from the start in the hospital. Anna had trouble latching to me, so I had to use a nipple shield for her to latch. Because of the nipple shield, I wasn't being stimulated enough for my milk to come in, so I had to pump after every feeding too. And then, because my milk wasn't coming in, we had to supplement with formula. Each feeding took over an hour and I would finish one just in time to start another. It was so emotionally and physically draining. The formula the hospital had her on made her gassy, so we had some LOOONG nights after we came home. Nights where we saw Daddy go to bed and Daddy get up for work and we didn't get a wink of sleep in between. She also wasn't getting enough milk from me and the formula wasn't enough, so she was hungry all the time. Because she was also using a bottle (which the lactation consultant told us to use because she was already on a nipple shield), she ended up getting a lazy latch. After one emotionally difficult day, where Anna refused to latch and screamed because she was hungry, I was done. I decided to exclusively pump and only feed her from a bottle. Since then, she has started to eat on an eating schedule, where she eats every 3 hours, and isn't hungry in between. She is actually sleeping 3 or 4 hour stretches at night regularly. The only time she is hungry between feedings is when we notice we have to increase her to the next half oz, and then we don't have problems. We do still supplement with 1 oz of formula, but she mostly gets breastmilk. I feel so much better this way because I don't feel like all I am doing is feeding a baby. One thing I am not yet ready to give up is feeding her. I don't mind if Jeff feeds her because I love to see them bonding. I am not ready for someone else to feed her. I was so looking forward to having this time with her, and I am not ready to give that time to someone else. Between now and when I go back to work, I will work on that, but until then I am not going to budge on that. Jeff is completely supportive.
So that is it in a nutshell. I really love being a mommy and I am having a hard time even thinking about when I have to go back to work. I had to pick up paperwork for the daycare, and other than picking it up, I haven't been able to touch it. I just can't think of my baby crying and needing me and someone else being there to help her. I have to go back to work and am going back October 1st, and I really do love my job and I am looking forward to a new school year... I just wish I could take my munchkin with me!
And because no post would be complete without a picture of my beautiful girl... here you go:
Me cuddling with my angel. Do you notice the
blanket? Prince George has the same one as Anna! Anna in her cuddly owl PJs!
And here is a sneak peek at Anna's newborn pictures! My Aunt Becky took them for us and I can not WAIT to see more!