Sunday, September 1, 2013

On holding my baby

Let me tell you a little story... 6 years ago this month, a man and a woman were married. They were so happy together, and still are. They decided right away to bring a child into this world. After a year of trying, she had a positive pregnancy test, but it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. They continued for 4 more years to try for a baby. These years had their ups and downs. They were still so happy together, but they were going through tests and treatments to try to make their dream of a child come true. There were many tears. Many Mother's Days and Father's Days passed with empty arms. They saw their friends have one, two, and even three babies during this time. Eventually they let their trying take a back burner and let running, traveling, and their jobs take over their lives. They were still happy together, but they decided to put off their trying for a few years, but there was still that empty sadness in their hearts. One day, during the first weekend of November 2012, she wasn't feeling right and decided to take a pregnancy test. SURPRISE! It was positive! After doctors told her she wouldn't be able to have a baby without the help of modern medicine, a miracle happened! After all these years their dreams were coming true. After 10 months of a beautiful pregnancy, their daughter was born and they couldn't be happier.

You see, that is my story above. After almost 6 years, I can finally hold my little miracle. And so I hold her any chance I get. I never, ever get tired of holding her because time moves so fast and she is already growing and changing before my very eyes. I love when people get to meet her and snuggle her and hold her, but when I am told (not by anyone specific, I promise! This is just an observation of my feelings over the last 8 weeks!) that I get to see her and hold her every day so they want to hold her for a long time, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I have to remind myself that they don't see her often and that they just love her and want to adore her. But I also know that a month from today, I will have even less time every day holding her, and that breaks my heart. And so, yes, even if someone is around that hasn't met her, I want to hold her. And if she is fussy while she is being held by someone else, it only makes me want to take her and help her stop fussing and make her happy. So yes, I am going to snuggle my baby and hold her, and smile at her, and talk to her, because I waited 6 years for this and nothing makes me happier than to hold her or see her daddy hold her. So be patient with me. It is hard for me to share my miracle, but I promise I am doing my best to remind myself that others want to get to know her and love on her to!


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