One step forward...

Yesterday I went for my first run since I was around 15 weeks pregnant. My last run was a 4 mile race in the hills near our house and it was torture because of the way I was carrying. I stopped running in January and switched to walking for a while. I did walk a 5K in May at around 36 weeks pregnant, but other than that, no racing. I miss it a lot. I went out yesterday for a run and it felt great. It was only a little over a mile, but it still felt nice. I may have had 2 miles in me, but I don't want to push it too early. I will get there, maybe next week or the week after.

I miss the distance I used to run. I ran a half marathon when I was 6 weeks pregnant and a 10 miler at 8 weeks pregnant (although by that time the fatigue was starting to set in and I was still having a lot of the early pregnancy cramping, so it wasn't the best 10 miler). But I would trade the distance for my little girl ANY DAY! I am hoping to get back up to a half marathon next year, and a marathon at some point in my life, but I really don't know how to juggle being a mommy, teaching, and running a long distance. I'd like to push Anna in a running stroller when I run, and that will take some work for both of us to build up her time stamina in a stroller, but at the same time I will be building up my distance. We will see how it goes! Any advice is welcome!

And because no post is complete without a picture of my leading lady, here is my new favorite picture (of my 8 week old!!!)...

It is September...

This is a month I usually look forward to. It is the month I married my husband. It is the start of fall. It is the start of football. School is back and in full swing. This year, however, it is bitter sweet. There are things I am really looking forward to... like our first vacation as a family of 3! Jeff has worked a lot since going back to work after Anna was born, and it will be so nice to have him to ourselves for a whole week!

This month, though, is also the last month I am home with Anna. I start back at school 1 month from today. So the end of this month we are starting to transition to daycare and I dread that week more than anything! But at least I have one month... and my munchkin just woke up, so I am going to go play!

On holding my baby

Let me tell you a little story... 6 years ago this month, a man and a woman were married. They were so happy together, and still are. They decided right away to bring a child into this world. After a year of trying, she had a positive pregnancy test, but it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. They continued for 4 more years to try for a baby. These years had their ups and downs. They were still so happy together, but they were going through tests and treatments to try to make their dream of a child come true. There were many tears. Many Mother's Days and Father's Days passed with empty arms. They saw their friends have one, two, and even three babies during this time. Eventually they let their trying take a back burner and let running, traveling, and their jobs take over their lives. They were still happy together, but they decided to put off their trying for a few years, but there was still that empty sadness in their hearts. One day, during the first weekend of November 2012, she wasn't feeling right and decided to take a pregnancy test. SURPRISE! It was positive! After doctors told her she wouldn't be able to have a baby without the help of modern medicine, a miracle happened! After all these years their dreams were coming true. After 10 months of a beautiful pregnancy, their daughter was born and they couldn't be happier.

You see, that is my story above. After almost 6 years, I can finally hold my little miracle. And so I hold her any chance I get. I never, ever get tired of holding her because time moves so fast and she is already growing and changing before my very eyes. I love when people get to meet her and snuggle her and hold her, but when I am told (not by anyone specific, I promise! This is just an observation of my feelings over the last 8 weeks!) that I get to see her and hold her every day so they want to hold her for a long time, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I have to remind myself that they don't see her often and that they just love her and want to adore her. But I also know that a month from today, I will have even less time every day holding her, and that breaks my heart. And so, yes, even if someone is around that hasn't met her, I want to hold her. And if she is fussy while she is being held by someone else, it only makes me want to take her and help her stop fussing and make her happy. So yes, I am going to snuggle my baby and hold her, and smile at her, and talk to her, because I waited 6 years for this and nothing makes me happier than to hold her or see her daddy hold her. So be patient with me. It is hard for me to share my miracle, but I promise I am doing my best to remind myself that others want to get to know her and love on her to!

   

1 month old!

Birth Weight: 6 lbs 14 oz               Now: 8lbs 10oz
Birth Length: 20 1/2 in                   Now: 21 3/4 in

Anna is already 1 month old! Well, now 1 months and 5 days old. :) I can not believe how fast this month went and how much she has grown already. Here are a few more interesting things than what I wrote on her sign:
*She is still a peanut and wearing mostly newborn clothes, but is starting to grow out of the smaller newborn and can fit into a few 0-3 month things, barely.
*She is in size 1 diapers. We are going to be cloth diapering soon. She wasn't big enough to fit into the cloth diapers we had until now, but we have a ton of size 1's that we got at our showers and I still had to order a few more cloth diapers. She just moved into size 1's and we will be starting soon!
*She is also starting to be pleasant while she is awake. She loves to lay on her back and kick around and talk.
*She is starting to smile at me. :)
*She is also sleeping 4-6 hours at a time at night. YAY! :)
*She loves to ride in the car and in her stroller and she LOVES to look out the window.
*She eats 4oz in her bottle at a time.
*She will be moving to her crib soon. :(

We are loving being parents to this little girl. I think I still haven't gotten over that we have a girl, and it is so fun to go shopping for her. :)

Here are a few pics of our Anna Banana:

Daddy's shades are the way to go!


Smile!




Super Girl! I call this her super hero pose. :)

3 weeks old tomorrow!

I can't believe Anna Banana is 3 weeks old tomorrow! This time truly is flying and it makes me so sad! She already doesn't look like a newborn, at least in my eyes. If we go to the store, I still hear people whisper to each other how tiny she is. Thankfully I only had one time where I was afraid someone was going to touch her, and I kept moving her stroller away and was able to fend off the germy hand! :) She is so fun to have and I just love watching her with her Daddy! Oh and she has already rolled from her front to her back!!! I couldn't believe it. She doesn't do it all the time, but I have definitely seen it and it blows my mind that she is doing it already! She is also starting to be more alert and it is neat to see her look around and take in the world... well the world that she can see at least since not all of her eyesight is in yet!

Breastfeeding has not been what I imagined. I was looking forward to doing it and to having that time with my Anna all to myself, not to mention how much cheaper it was supposed to be! Well, we had problems from the start in the hospital. Anna had trouble latching to me, so I had to use a nipple shield for her to latch. Because of the nipple shield, I wasn't being stimulated enough for my milk to come in, so I had to pump after every feeding too. And then, because my milk wasn't coming in, we had to supplement with formula. Each feeding took over an hour and I would finish one just in time to start another. It was so emotionally and physically draining. The formula the hospital had her on made her gassy, so we had some LOOONG nights after we came home. Nights where we saw Daddy go to bed and Daddy get up for work and we didn't get a wink of sleep in between. She also wasn't getting enough milk from me and the formula wasn't enough, so she was hungry all the time. Because she was also using a bottle (which the lactation consultant told us to use because she was already on a nipple shield), she ended up getting a lazy latch. After one emotionally difficult day, where Anna refused to latch and screamed because she was hungry, I was done. I decided to exclusively pump and only feed her from a bottle. Since then, she has started to eat on an eating schedule, where she eats every 3 hours, and isn't hungry in between. She is actually sleeping 3 or 4 hour stretches at night regularly. The only time she is hungry between feedings is when we notice we have to increase her to the next half oz, and then we don't have problems. We do still supplement with 1 oz of formula, but she mostly gets breastmilk. I feel so much better this way because I don't feel like all I am doing is feeding a baby. One thing I am not yet ready to give up is feeding her. I don't mind if Jeff feeds her because I love to see them bonding. I am not ready for someone else to feed her. I was so looking forward to having this time with her, and I am not ready to give that time to someone else. Between now and when I go back to work, I will work on that, but until then I am not going to budge on that. Jeff is completely supportive.

So that is it in a nutshell. I really love being a mommy and I am having a hard time even thinking about when I have to go back to work. I had to pick up paperwork for the daycare, and other than picking it up, I haven't been able to touch it. I just can't think of my baby crying and needing me and someone else being there to help her. I have to go back to work and am going back October 1st, and I really do love my job and I am looking forward to a new school year... I just wish I could take my munchkin with me!

And because no post would be complete without a picture of my beautiful girl... here you go:

Me cuddling with my angel. Do you notice the                  

blanket? Prince George has the same one as Anna!         Anna in her cuddly owl PJs!

  

And here is a sneak peek at Anna's newborn pictures! My Aunt Becky took them for us and I can not WAIT to see more! 

   

Anna's Birth Story and a Short Update

So I have always wanted to do a birth story post! I love reading them when others post about them, and I want to write it down before I forget what happened. Bringing a new life into this world is beautiful, and was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. It is long, so kudos if you get through it! If you make it, there may be some pictures at the end to reward you! (Of course, if you are like me, you quick scroll down to look at them before coming back to read).

I am going to start with Friday, July 5th, the day after my due date. I had an ultrasound, a Non-Stress Test, and my 40 week appointment scheduled for that day. Jeff was off that day so he went with me, which I am thankful for! The ultrasound was just to measure fluid levels, and all was good. Once again she was waving at us during the ultrasound! :) We went to the Non-Stress Test, and during the test I was having contractions, though they were very small so I wasn't feeling all of them. She also wasn't moving around a ton because it was a sleepier time of day for her. They were having a hard time getting her to move to measure her heartrate. When I had contractions, they noticed her heartrate dropped. The doctor didn't want to do my appointment, he wanted me to head to Labor and Delivery and be hooked up to one of their machines for monitoring. I was nervous that something was wrong, and wondering if they were going to induce me. We only live 5 minutes from my doctor's and 5 minutes from the hospital, so we decided to swing home, let the dogs out, sweep and vacuum, and grab my bags for the hospital in case they decide to admit me. We also stopped at Subway on the way to the hospital so that I had something to eat in case I was being induced. We were hooked up to the machines and monitored for a few hours. I think because I stopped to eat, it gave her energy and she was very active. They didn't notice any problems with her heartrate. They were also PACKED that day, so they couldn't induce me. They set up an induction for Tuesday, July 9th and sent me on my way.

Saturday we spent time with family, but I really wasn't having any contractions. Sunday, July 7th, I woke up and was feeling contractions every 15 minutes or so and they were stronger than any of the contractions I had before had been. They weren't painful, but they felt like they were pushing baby down, which I hadn't felt before. I downloaded a contraction timer app for when I needed to start timing and went about my day. Jeff was at work and I was wondering if I would have to call him to come home, but they weren't close enough for me to feel that I had to. He got home and I told him about my contractions. We had dinner plans with my parents that night for my birthday and since they were 10-15 minutes apart at that time, we decided to keep our plans, even though it was 30 minutes away from our house and the hospital. I did have to breathe a bit through a few contractions during dinner, and I noticed they were getting closer together. I told my parents that I wouldn't be surprised if tonight we went in, but we weren't sure since we have had days where I've had contractions and then they would go away. Driving home I noticed they were getting closer together so I started timing them. They were 5-9 minutes apart. My doctor's office told me and all first time moms to call when they are 5 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for 1 hour, so I knew it wasn't yet time to call. We watched some TV and I continued to time. After an hour I noticed they were 3-5 minutes apart, so I called and we went in. They still weren't strong, but I felt a lot of pressure. They put me in the Early Labor Room (not fully admitted) and hooked me up to monitors. They also checked me and I was still barely a centimeter dilated. They started to get more painful at this time, feeling like cramps. After an hour on the machine I still wasn't progressed, so they had me walk around. After an hour of walking around I progressed from barely a centimeter to a full centimeter, however, they weren't convinced I was in labor. (I was convinced, but what do I know?! Haha!). They told me I could be in false labor, gave me Percocet and Ambien and sent me home to sleep and make the contractions go away. They told me to come back in if they were more painful... I didn't understand how they could get any more painful. Famous last words...

We went home and I went inside and up to the bedroom. I had no sooner made it to the bedroom than I felt HORRENDOUS pain. I kept thinking (remember I am on Percocet and Ambien, so not quite all there) that I was a Barbie having my legs ripped off. I would pass out between the contractions, and then they would wake me up and I would cry and try to make them stop, but they wouldn't. Eventually I started throwing up from the pain and told I was done and we were going back in. It was barely an hour since we were sent home. I should have just stayed...

We went in and they checked me in the Early Labor room again... I had dilated 3cm in the hour I was gone and was officially being admitted in labor! My original plan was to labor until I got to 5cm and then get an epidural. Haha. You can plan all you want... it doesn't mean it will happen! I was progressing so quickly that my pain was unbearable and I wanted an epidural immediately. They hooked me to an IV to give me fluids and gave me Stadol while they waited for the anesthesiologist to come. Stadol rocked because I was out of it between contractions and, while they still hurt, it took the edge off my contractions and it also made me out of it when the epidural was being placed. The anesthesiologist was my favorite person in the entire hospital. I really was so comfortable before he even left the room! I am pretty sure I told him he was an Angel. Haha!  Somewhere around 5:00 or 6:00 Monday morning my mom showed up to hang with Jeff and me. I dozed on and off between them checking me. I quickly progressed to 6 cm and then started to slow down. They decided to give me Pitocin and place an internal contraction monitor to make sure the contractions were strong enough for me to deliver the baby. They also had to give me Oxygen, which I was on throughout my entire labor and pushing because baby wasn't really very active. The Oxygen was torture because it made me very thirsty and I could only have ice chips. They broke my water and noticed Meconium in the fluid, so they had to have NICU in the room when I delivered... which made the number of medical staff in the room when I was delivering jump from a midwife and two nurses to: a midwife, two L&D nurses, 3 NICU nurses, a doctor from my practice, and resident doctor as well. Around noon I started to feel pressure from the baby dropping. They checked me around 1:30 and I was all but fully dilated. They wanted to let me get that last little bit dilated and they wanted the baby to move down on her own, so they decided to wait an hour. They topped off my epidural so I could handle the pressure a little more. At 2:30 they checked me and it was PUSHING time! I kicked my mom out of the room. I wanted it to just be Jeff, and me, and the 8 doctors and nurses that were in the room (but really Jeff and me. I told her she wasn't there when baby was conceived, so she couldn't be there when baby came into the world. She was A-OK with that! I really wanted a special small family moment before everyone else was there). I pushed for 2 1/2 hours... I believe she was turned sideways because my hip was KILLING me! They wouldn't tell me. At 4:50pm my baby girl entered the world. I wanted Jeff to tell me if the baby was a boy or a girl. It was a beautiful moment and I will never forget it. She had a head full of brown hair. They didn't want her to cry because of the meconium, so they took her after they put her on my chest and cleaned her off and cleared her out and did their other assessments before bringing her back to me. She was having some trouble breathing, so they had a respiratory therapist come check her out, but she ended up fine and we were OK to keep her with us!

Once I was stitched up and holding my baby girl, Jeff went and brought my parents in. When they came in I choked out that she was a girl, but I couldn't tell them her name. Anna is named after my great-grandmother, my mom's grandmother, who was so special to me. Jeff had to tell them the name. They stayed and visited, saw Jeff hold her for the first time, and then my mom held her a bit before we headed to the Maternity section and they headed home for the night.

Anna is just over 2 weeks old now and it is so hard to believe! I am feeling pretty good, though I do get sore after walking around for a few hours. I did manage to get out on my own for a bit today, while my mom kept an eye on my munchkin. It was very hard to leave and I was gone not even an hour, but I still was out! I've already lost 15 of my 19 lbs that the dr's office said I gained! Wahoo!!! I still have 13 total to lose until I am at the weight that I know I was just before I found out I was pregnant, but according to the doctor's office I only have 4 lbs to lose. I feel like a deflated balloon still and am very excited to get back into shape, but I know I am not completely ready for a hard workout. I do try to walk at least every other day, when the heat won't melt me. I will be signing up for a fall 5K, and Jeff and I are going to do Insanity together.

OK... here are a few pictures and then I am headed to snuggle. I will post more about our first two weeks, including my struggle with breastfeeding, in my next post! KUDOS if you made it to the end!

   

  

 
   

And the baby is a...

GIRL! Anna Amelia was born on July 8th at 4:50pm. She weighed 6lbs 14oz and was 20.5 inches long. She has a head full of brown hair and had me at hello! :) We think she has my personality because she isn't afraid to say when she needs something as soon as she needs it. Haha! When I have time I will post more of the birth story and more pictures.I am feeling well now and am thrilled to snuggle with my girl. For now... here is my angel on the day we brought her home: